I talk a lot about Bouncing. I like the word “Bounce” because it says to me that we just get knocked down and bounce right up again like a rubber ball. “Bounce” also sounds fun. I mean really how much fun are the words “recovery”, “adjustment” and “rebound.”
Chances are if you are alive reading this you will go through death, financial loss, separation and probably divorce in this lifetime at some point or another. I got hit with all of those in the past few years all at once and it seemed like it would never end. My life was like a wave of pain that kept washing over me – only it didn’t cleanse me it just hurt.
Life is full of hurts and I think the military family goes through more than most civilian families. They have to say goodbye a lot more. They have to change a lot more. They also wonder if mom or dad is ever coming home and if they are what will that be like. These are some of the special conditions that our military families face on a daily basis. One of my radio show guests moved 19 times in “her” military career as did “her children.” Yeah, it was the “dad” who served but one when enlists the whole family comes along for the ride. I call the kids the “littlest soldiers” because they are serving too.
Because life is hard and bad things happen to all of us, I have learned that the way I phrase it in my head makes a big difference in my day. If I get up and “bounce” I smile. If I am in “recovery” I frown. Same things happened to me, but the way I choose to phrase them in my head make all the difference.
Take my divorce. It sucked. I was cheated on, then left alone with little kids and got the bills dumped on my head while my mom died of breast cancer. Any way you slice it – it sucked. I could use the word “divorced” but that has such an icky feel to it. I choose the word “recycled” and I feel like I am helping the planet at the same time.
I don’t like to say I am in “abuse recovery” either. That just sounds dismal. So I choose the phrase “I’m bouncing with style.” And what does style mean??? – it means getting up every day , fixing my hair…putting on something other than sweats and greeting my future. Do I hit the mark every day – not a chance. But I try and do my best to phrase things in my head in a way that serves me. Why do it any other way? When life bowls me over, I bounce. Do you?
Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio a show dedicated to bringing issues, solutions and up to date information to our Military Families. Mondays 2pm PST on Toginet.com. Also available for free on Itunes. Sandra Beck is a writer for MilitaryConnection and a member of VAMBOA and Military Writer’s Society of America This Article appeared on www.militaryconnection.com.